Well, 12 hour clinicals suck to say the least. OK... they really don't. Time goes by pretty fast. But my feet are killing me!! They killed last week after one 12 hour day. We did two this week. I can't describe the pain. I seriously think labor will be better than what my feet feel like right now... seriously...
On a sad note- I lost my first patient today. We aren't allowed to talk about patients in detail, of course, but this is basically my journal. He was a hospice patient, so he was just receiving palliative care. His BP ran around 60/30. The family knew it was coming, as did everyone else. I went and took his BP around lunch and it was 60/35, and his HR was 65- it had been in the 100's. The family requested he get his pain meds he got q2hrs. I left to get the meds, came back not even ten minutes later, and he had stopped breathing and his pulse was no longer audible. It was amazing walking into the room the different feeling I had. It was as if standing there I could feel his spirit leave his body. It got very 'empty' in the room. Being a rather spiritual person it hit me kinda hard- I've never been there when some one passed away. Also, I'm pregnant. So the meaning of life has completely changed for me. It is a very precious gift that should not be taken lightly. I had only been with the family for the past two days, but it still brought a tear to my eye and made my heart ache. It's hard to comfort the family when you too feel sorrow for the loss of the life. You're never supposed to say that the patient is in a better place, but I'm not talking to the family. He truely is in a better place, and I hope he felt the love that was in the room for him. He had family surrounding him waiting to tell him good bye. I just hope the best for his family in their time of mourning.
It's experiences like this that change a person. I'm so grateful to have had the chance to help comfort a family in their time of need. It's days like this that make me realize this truely is the profession for me.
On a sad note- I lost my first patient today. We aren't allowed to talk about patients in detail, of course, but this is basically my journal. He was a hospice patient, so he was just receiving palliative care. His BP ran around 60/30. The family knew it was coming, as did everyone else. I went and took his BP around lunch and it was 60/35, and his HR was 65- it had been in the 100's. The family requested he get his pain meds he got q2hrs. I left to get the meds, came back not even ten minutes later, and he had stopped breathing and his pulse was no longer audible. It was amazing walking into the room the different feeling I had. It was as if standing there I could feel his spirit leave his body. It got very 'empty' in the room. Being a rather spiritual person it hit me kinda hard- I've never been there when some one passed away. Also, I'm pregnant. So the meaning of life has completely changed for me. It is a very precious gift that should not be taken lightly. I had only been with the family for the past two days, but it still brought a tear to my eye and made my heart ache. It's hard to comfort the family when you too feel sorrow for the loss of the life. You're never supposed to say that the patient is in a better place, but I'm not talking to the family. He truely is in a better place, and I hope he felt the love that was in the room for him. He had family surrounding him waiting to tell him good bye. I just hope the best for his family in their time of mourning.
It's experiences like this that change a person. I'm so grateful to have had the chance to help comfort a family in their time of need. It's days like this that make me realize this truely is the profession for me.
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